Seat Belts Save Lives

I have nothing new on the knitting front and so I thought I'd pass this on. Keep an eye on Janice and her maniacal laughter....


"Janice, it ain't funny."

My Dog (almost) Ate My Homework

If you are interested in adopting either of the above pictured felons, please let me know. They are no longer fit to live in my home. The one in the black mask is the main culprit and therefore the first one to be placed on the Most Unwanted list. I was upstairs sorting laundry (what else?) and he had been alone downstairs for a mere 5-10 minutes. I had an uneasy feeling because I had left my knitting out on the couch and while normally this is a non-issue, he had been sniffing around it the night before and put his dog lips on it once or twice so I was concerned. I sent Thing 2 down to check on him and she came up and very silently but urgently motioned for me to come downstairs. I asked her what was wrong and she just said, "You need to go down there." I have to confess, I got a little more panicky than one really should about string and pointy sticks at that point and tried to race down the stairs as rationally as possible. I'm not going to lie to you-it wasn't a pretty scene. There was green laceweight yarn EVERYWHERE. The sweet little doggie of mine had taken the ball of yarn and apparently did several laps around the table with it as the table was well-wound in yarn. My container of glass beads was also missing. However, the worst part (or maybe the best?) was that my lace stole was no longer attached to the ball of yarn. As fear welled up in my throat, I choked out the words, "Where is the rest?!" to Thing 2, my super-helper who had gotten the varmint away from the knitting int he first place and actually collected up the yarn from around the table for me while I was blinded with panic. She pointed to a crumpled wad on the table, thankfully with the needles still attached. I took a deep breath, chanted "it's only the first section, I can re-knit it if necessary" repeatedly (if I say it enough, it will be true, right? RIGHT?!), and gathered up the strewn yarn into a blob, hunted down the beads which were wedged under a chair and thankfully still in the closed container, and spread out the stole to survey the damage. Thankfully, there were only a few "stretched out" yarnovers here and there and a few misshapen area that miraculously stretched back almost to their rightful places with a bit of coercing and most likely will be just fine with blocking. However, it took me over 2 HOURS to untangle what had been separated from both the knitting and the ball and I ended up with four little mini balls of yarn that I ended up joining with a felted join into one semi-mini ball which would be easier to keep up with. Now, I can hear you saying, "why untangle that?" but I have JUST ENOUGH yarn to do this stole and I cannot afford to lose ANY of it-and I'm pretty sure the dog knew that, because dogs are that way. He's trying to break me I tell you. The knitting now stays locked up-although the !#$%* dog is the one who really should be locked up. His brother is on the bad list for not stopping him and just for being canine in general. Dogs are bad. You can't turn your back for one minute. And they smell bad and eat gross things. Call me a species-ist if you like, but they are no good. Stay away. Protect your women and children, and most of all, your knitting.

Bring Out Yer Dead!

Ok, so I lied. I did NOT post pictures of my lace on Tuesday but it is because I was mostly dead for part of Tuesday and all of Wednesday due to some horrible allergy/sinus abomination. There is nothing like being so stuffed up you cannot breathe and having sinus headaches and being just generally cold-like in July. It just kinda ruins everything, ya know? Not to mention knitting lace while taking Benadryl (which I normally avoid like the plague but it was just THAT BAD) is a particularly risky move. (I prefer "risky" to "stupid" so indulge me a minute...) I was really so miserable and the Claritin was not helping and it was the 4th of July which I really LOVE and I didn't want to miss the parade, cook out, and fireworks-they may be small town but I still love 'em! So I thought, "Hey! I'll just take a little Benadryl-it normally doesn't make me sleepy, in fact it usually makes me a bit jittery! I should be good!" WRONG. Oh my goodness, I'm not even sure what happened on Wednesday but I'm pretty sure I missed most of it. I was there but not there. That picture is of the 2 older Things and their cousins so I guess I was at the parade after all-who knew? I slept a good bit of the day, involuntarily, and what's that you are asking? Wasn't I responsible for young children? I think so--but I just turned on the TV, removed any obvious choking hazards, and passed out on the sofa. No joke-and I really never do that. The kids thought it was great-Thing 1 discovered Bob Ross painting on PBS and thought it was the coolest thing ever (what's not to love about a man w/ a huge afro dropping happy little trees hither and yon?) . God was merciful and all 3 Things are alive and well, but the lace didn't see much progress those 2 days. I really like knitting lace probably the best of anything and I am really enjoying this project and had not made a single mistake, but in the few minutes of the drug-induced stupor in which I tried to knit a row or 2, I made about eleventy billion mistakes and so I just gave up and went back to sleep. Needless to say, I didn't get completely finished with the 1st clue but I should tomorrow just in time for the 2nd clue. Plus we are going on a little road trip to visit my in-laws (and their in-ground pool complete with diving board-woot!) so I should be right on track unless the dreaded allergies return with a vengeance in which case I will go throw myself off the new deck because I just cannot take it anymore. We'll see how it goes. I will leave you with a crummy picture of the lace stole so far-it was night when I took it so the lighting stinks, but you get the gist of it.

It's a Mystery to Me

I needed a little break from miter world-I am having trouble getting the last few squares done for my baby blanket for some reason. Mostly I am sick of looking at cotton primary boy colors-I want to look at pretty stuff! So, I finished the Jitterbug sock and did in fact cast on for the second sock (right in church as a matter of fact! Nothing but holy socks for my feet!) but then I decided to do a project I had told myself I was not going to do. I wanted to do it. I REALLY wanted to, I just have so many other things in the line-up to knit first. Nonetheless, I caved-I am knitting the Mystery Stole 3 from Pink Lemon Twist. This is such a great idea! It is a series of "clues"-she gives you one a week-that are actually parts of a lace stole pattern. You knit each part as you get it but you have no idea what you are knitting until you finish it (aside from the fact that it is a lace stole-duh!) This particular one is knit with beads in the lace, too, which I had not yet done and now LOVE! I got the first clue on Saturday night and found some Jaggerspun Zephyr laceweight in Sage that I decided to use but I still needed to get the beads because they are used on the 1st stitch. On Sunday, I went out to get my beads and after just a tiny bit of looking (and by "tiny bit" I mean looked in every blasted store in the NRV that is open on Sunday that carries beads, even going so far as to look in the jewelry section to see if there was anything I could dismantle and use the beads, and trying for the life of me to read tiny labels covered up by UPC codes right where the size of the beads was listed and maybe a little skoshe of cussing and muttering to myself and having a grand conversation with yet another "unusual" person (is it me?!) in the bead aisle ) found some pale green, irregularly cut glass beads that would do nicely because apparently seed beads in the size I needed do not come in any sort of colors that are attractive to anyone other than clowns. I like the beads by themselves but I'm not yet sure on the yarn. I do wish they were a bit sparklier-they sort of disappear in the yarn but I'm hoping when the whole thing is done with all the beads they will be just the right balance of sparkle and beauty-rather than sparkle and cheese which is never a good combo but far too easily obtained I'm afraid. Anyhoo, I am halfway done with the first clue and it is so fun and I love the beads and the lace and I have no pictures because I am tired. I will hopefully put up a picture tomorrow of the finished Clue 1. I am finally knitting something I WANT to knit and I am having such a good time! I heart knitting again! (like I ever really stopped....please!)

Whoop There It Is!

I was just sitting there last night when what to my wandering eyes did appear? A FO!!

That's right, I actually have something finished that I can show you! One of my Jitterbug socks, currently listed in the "Stalled Out" section of the sidebar. I found myself at Bible Study one Thursday night with no project to mindlessly knit while listening and I remembered these socks were in the car and thought, "Hey! I could work on those!" and 2 weeks later, Voila! One finished sock. Now before we go whispering behind our hands and snickering about the fact that it took me 2 weeks to finish one sock, I will remind you that I only knit this at Bible Study, I am also working on a blanket which takes too much concentration for me to use it as a mindless knit ( i.e. I have to count-always tricky in a group setting for me), I went on vacation for one week and did hardly any knitting, and I have actually been working on this sock, bit by bit, for months rather than weeks- so there! I am actually slower than it appears. *sigh* Someday I am sure I will knit things in a timely manner, just not sure when that will be. I am actually planning on casting on for the second sock right away though because I still have 7 weeks of this particular Bible study left and I am going to do my best to have it done by then, in one hour a week increments. Maybe if I also use this for my church knitting (yes, I knit at church, judge me not-I pay better attention to the sermon because I'm not all looking around at stuff-God knits too, you can look it up if you want-- Psalm 139:13), I may finish it pretty soon and actually get to work on some of the stuff I have folded down in the Summer Interweave. There's a concept! I'm going to go cast on right now.

I'll leave you with a photo of what I did with my little ones yesterday-they were good little workers!! Mmmmmm, tastes like summer!

This Sucks

Dear Brand New Vacuum,

I think I love you already. You are so quiet and you made the carpet look so pretty. You have so many settings-9 carpet heights?? Hello?! Who has that?! And a telescoping attachment wand-niiiiiice. I will treat you so nicely, I promise. My past vacuums have all broken my heart. Oh sure, they start off ok-picking up bits of fuzz here and there and making nice tidy little stripes on the carpet. But for some reason, the giant wads of Golden Retriever fur always frighten them into some sort of paralysis and they stop working. Completely. I've been good to them and bought them new belts, new bags, given them a good luxurious cleaning-all I ask in return is a little effort, some hard work a couple times a week. It's not like I asked them for daily time with me-I gave them their freedom and sometimes didn't even make them wind up their cords! They had their own closet, a nice rack for their tools-but could they give me any consistency? No! Really, what's so scary about a little bit (or more) of dog fur? I know you will not be that way-you are rated a Best Buy by Consumer Reports and noted for your awesome handling of pet fur. Maybe you can collect it and help me send it to a special place. Well, maybe not--but we could if we wanted to! We will be together forever, me and you (or at least for about 10 years, per the standard life ecpectancy of a vacuum) and we will blast away dirt, fur, pug-shredded paper bits, Husband-tracked mud, Thing-tracked mud, dog-tracked mud, and bits of yarn ends cast upon the carpet. Thing 3 can roll freely about, safe in the assurance that you have provided her a furless place to explore. I get giddy just thinking about you. I think I'm going to use you again right now just so I can fall in love all over again. This is the start of something beautiful, I can feel it! I am trusting you, Smartvac-you're The Boss and I expect nothing less.

Love,

Jody

In My Mind I'm Goin' To Carolina

Can I go back? I have returned home only to be faced with a mountain of unpacking, a dog that has forgotten that going potty is an outdoor activity, a gastrointestinal disturbance that nearly killed me, and of course, my period. Welcome home, Hilt family, welcome home.

I LOVED being at the beach-we had great weather and got to do all of our favorite things-bike rides, beach, pool, eat, shop, eat some more. Thing 3 ate the requisite amount of sand and got sand in EVERY available crevice (and even some unavailable ones) and the older girls got to go on a pony ride so they had a blast. I didn't get tons of knitting done because I honestly just didn't feel like it and for us, vacation is completely a "have a good time" time so we don't really do much that we don't want to do that week. (Ok, well, I don't really WANT to change diapers and cook dinners or make sure everyone is sunscreened constantly and clean sand out of cracks but there are some limits to the "it's vacation!" justification clause, particularly for Mom) I did do a lot of reading about knitting and reading my knitting mysteries though so it was like I knit vicariously through that. I also made some plans for my retirement to Hilton Head and where on the island I will open up my yarn shop and how I will make a killing off of all the richie golf widows-mwah hah hah hah!! It's all coming together....can I retire at 35?

Anyway, I've got to go change a diaper, do more laundry, get to more unpacking and take some advil. Big day!