My Dog (almost) Ate My Homework

If you are interested in adopting either of the above pictured felons, please let me know. They are no longer fit to live in my home. The one in the black mask is the main culprit and therefore the first one to be placed on the Most Unwanted list. I was upstairs sorting laundry (what else?) and he had been alone downstairs for a mere 5-10 minutes. I had an uneasy feeling because I had left my knitting out on the couch and while normally this is a non-issue, he had been sniffing around it the night before and put his dog lips on it once or twice so I was concerned. I sent Thing 2 down to check on him and she came up and very silently but urgently motioned for me to come downstairs. I asked her what was wrong and she just said, "You need to go down there." I have to confess, I got a little more panicky than one really should about string and pointy sticks at that point and tried to race down the stairs as rationally as possible. I'm not going to lie to you-it wasn't a pretty scene. There was green laceweight yarn EVERYWHERE. The sweet little doggie of mine had taken the ball of yarn and apparently did several laps around the table with it as the table was well-wound in yarn. My container of glass beads was also missing. However, the worst part (or maybe the best?) was that my lace stole was no longer attached to the ball of yarn. As fear welled up in my throat, I choked out the words, "Where is the rest?!" to Thing 2, my super-helper who had gotten the varmint away from the knitting int he first place and actually collected up the yarn from around the table for me while I was blinded with panic. She pointed to a crumpled wad on the table, thankfully with the needles still attached. I took a deep breath, chanted "it's only the first section, I can re-knit it if necessary" repeatedly (if I say it enough, it will be true, right? RIGHT?!), and gathered up the strewn yarn into a blob, hunted down the beads which were wedged under a chair and thankfully still in the closed container, and spread out the stole to survey the damage. Thankfully, there were only a few "stretched out" yarnovers here and there and a few misshapen area that miraculously stretched back almost to their rightful places with a bit of coercing and most likely will be just fine with blocking. However, it took me over 2 HOURS to untangle what had been separated from both the knitting and the ball and I ended up with four little mini balls of yarn that I ended up joining with a felted join into one semi-mini ball which would be easier to keep up with. Now, I can hear you saying, "why untangle that?" but I have JUST ENOUGH yarn to do this stole and I cannot afford to lose ANY of it-and I'm pretty sure the dog knew that, because dogs are that way. He's trying to break me I tell you. The knitting now stays locked up-although the !#$%* dog is the one who really should be locked up. His brother is on the bad list for not stopping him and just for being canine in general. Dogs are bad. You can't turn your back for one minute. And they smell bad and eat gross things. Call me a species-ist if you like, but they are no good. Stay away. Protect your women and children, and most of all, your knitting.