So, I have a confession to make. I am a worrier. I like to mentally analyze an issue to death, and then fret about it some more after that. I am not the out-loud, whiny worrier-type though--no, I prefer to lay awake half the night, mulling over all the "what ifs" and then spend all my quiet moments of the day doing the same thing. And boy, as a mom, do I have a lot of worry-fodder! In fact, if I start to run out of worry-fuel, I can just worry about how much I worry! Sometimes it IS good to think things through and analyze them so you are not walking blindly into a situation, but it is easy to let the thinking and wondering turn into genuine worry. When we were considering adopting from Ethiopia, I had a million things I worried, er, wondered, about. How will I take care of an Ethiopian child's hair? Will other people in our family have negative reactions? Should we add another child to our already nutso family? Do Ethiopian children sunburn like I do? How long will it take? Is this just a "whim" that I will act on and then back out on? Will I love this child just the same as the other Things since it will look and feel so different than what I know as a mom-and yes, I do mean literally look so different-I have no issue whatsoever with race, obviously, but it is just so different than what I've ever done before, you know? I have to say, that last one is the one I worried about the most (and worried about even sharing it with everyone). And honestly, it is still the one that likes to plague me when I am feeling tired and worn out, and lacking in sleep, and most of all lacking in time with the Lord. (ok, and when I have PMS-yeah, I said it) There are days when I just feel like "what were we thinking?" about this adoption, because I just don't feel cut out for the job. And oddly, as we inch closer on the waiting list, the worries get a little louder. Some days bringing home our baby is just so crazy of a concept that I cannot fathom it actually happening and then I just feel like maybe I misunderstood what God was telling us. And I worry about my other girls-what if all the kids don't gel? What if things are too weird of an adjustment? And the worst, most horrible-feeling worry of all, what if we regret it? Now, please do not be angry with me, I am trying to be super real and honest about my innermost thoughts. I feel like this is hard to say because so much of what is seen in the adoption community is incredible excitement and joy about the journey and I do feel that way, most of the time. But like I said, there are times when these little whispers come through my thoughts and I feel alone with them, like if I dared to share them with other adoptive parents, they would think I was crazy and maybe shouldn't in fact be adopting at all. However, I don't think this is the case because I distinctly remember feeling this exact same way when I was pregnant with all three Things (well, except the Ethiopian hair issue, I mean I pretty much counted that issue out). That fear of "oh no, can I get out of this? what the heck will I do with another baby? who thought this was a good idea?" that seemed to creep in at the most inopportune times was there with all my pregnancies and I think it is the same fear that is here with this adoption. It is the fear of the unknown, the not knowing what to expect, and the irrevocability of it. I know without a doubt God has asked us to walk this path, and that is what I cling to when I feel consumed with my questions and worries (well, that and some PMS meds and chocolate, but I digress...) and I know that I should not be anxious or worry about anything, according to Philippians 4:6-7, and I do lay these thoughts at the feet of Jesus regularly. And I know that at first sight of my babies, I was incredibly, irrevocably, intensely, unconditionally in love with them. But honestly, I do worry, like any expecting parent I suppose. I have been encouraged by other folks, like Melissa Faye Greene (in articles like this) and Mary from Owlhaven when they have written about concerns, worries, and even post adoptive depression. This adoption brings with it new sets of concerns-things I never really thought would float across the expanse of my mind-and I want to ask other adopting parents, do you worry about this stuff too sometimes? If you do, would you be willing to share those feelings from time to time so we can all encourage one another, not just in the exciting times, but in the scary, uncertain times, too? Or if you have "been there, done that" and are on the other side of things with your sweet one home, can you share that, too? It is nice to know that these feelings are normal and that we have folks running this marathon with us, as well as those cheering us on from the finish line.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Worrywart
So, I have a confession to make. I am a worrier. I like to mentally analyze an issue to death, and then fret about it some more after that. I am not the out-loud, whiny worrier-type though--no, I prefer to lay awake half the night, mulling over all the "what ifs" and then spend all my quiet moments of the day doing the same thing. And boy, as a mom, do I have a lot of worry-fodder! In fact, if I start to run out of worry-fuel, I can just worry about how much I worry! Sometimes it IS good to think things through and analyze them so you are not walking blindly into a situation, but it is easy to let the thinking and wondering turn into genuine worry. When we were considering adopting from Ethiopia, I had a million things I worried, er, wondered, about. How will I take care of an Ethiopian child's hair? Will other people in our family have negative reactions? Should we add another child to our already nutso family? Do Ethiopian children sunburn like I do? How long will it take? Is this just a "whim" that I will act on and then back out on? Will I love this child just the same as the other Things since it will look and feel so different than what I know as a mom-and yes, I do mean literally look so different-I have no issue whatsoever with race, obviously, but it is just so different than what I've ever done before, you know? I have to say, that last one is the one I worried about the most (and worried about even sharing it with everyone). And honestly, it is still the one that likes to plague me when I am feeling tired and worn out, and lacking in sleep, and most of all lacking in time with the Lord. (ok, and when I have PMS-yeah, I said it) There are days when I just feel like "what were we thinking?" about this adoption, because I just don't feel cut out for the job. And oddly, as we inch closer on the waiting list, the worries get a little louder. Some days bringing home our baby is just so crazy of a concept that I cannot fathom it actually happening and then I just feel like maybe I misunderstood what God was telling us. And I worry about my other girls-what if all the kids don't gel? What if things are too weird of an adjustment? And the worst, most horrible-feeling worry of all, what if we regret it? Now, please do not be angry with me, I am trying to be super real and honest about my innermost thoughts. I feel like this is hard to say because so much of what is seen in the adoption community is incredible excitement and joy about the journey and I do feel that way, most of the time. But like I said, there are times when these little whispers come through my thoughts and I feel alone with them, like if I dared to share them with other adoptive parents, they would think I was crazy and maybe shouldn't in fact be adopting at all. However, I don't think this is the case because I distinctly remember feeling this exact same way when I was pregnant with all three Things (well, except the Ethiopian hair issue, I mean I pretty much counted that issue out). That fear of "oh no, can I get out of this? what the heck will I do with another baby? who thought this was a good idea?" that seemed to creep in at the most inopportune times was there with all my pregnancies and I think it is the same fear that is here with this adoption. It is the fear of the unknown, the not knowing what to expect, and the irrevocability of it. I know without a doubt God has asked us to walk this path, and that is what I cling to when I feel consumed with my questions and worries (well, that and some PMS meds and chocolate, but I digress...) and I know that I should not be anxious or worry about anything, according to Philippians 4:6-7, and I do lay these thoughts at the feet of Jesus regularly. And I know that at first sight of my babies, I was incredibly, irrevocably, intensely, unconditionally in love with them. But honestly, I do worry, like any expecting parent I suppose. I have been encouraged by other folks, like Melissa Faye Greene (in articles like this) and Mary from Owlhaven when they have written about concerns, worries, and even post adoptive depression. This adoption brings with it new sets of concerns-things I never really thought would float across the expanse of my mind-and I want to ask other adopting parents, do you worry about this stuff too sometimes? If you do, would you be willing to share those feelings from time to time so we can all encourage one another, not just in the exciting times, but in the scary, uncertain times, too? Or if you have "been there, done that" and are on the other side of things with your sweet one home, can you share that, too? It is nice to know that these feelings are normal and that we have folks running this marathon with us, as well as those cheering us on from the finish line.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Crazy
The kitten is driving me crazy. It is a total spaz-extremely cute and fuzzy, but a spaz nonetheless. Same goes for all my children. Well, except I guess the fuzzy part. I am thinking that they are sucking all the available energy that exists in this house into their little bodies and that is why there is none available for myself and my husband. It is just a hypothesis mind you, but I think it is a good one.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
We've Been Adopted
This little critter seems to have decided we are its family. 
I wonder if it knew a Jeep was included in the deal? This little kitty "found" us in a McDonald's parking lot under the tire of the car parked next to us. We pulled in, my mommy-radar went off and I said, "I hear a kitten!" My kids had no idea what I was talking about and my husband had the "oh no...." face on when I opened the door and there it was, meowing it's fuzzy little heart out at me. It was SO tiny and super-scrawny. I could fit it in our car cup holder! And it weighed like 3 ounces, it was so bitty-we are guessing it to be about 4 weeks oldish. I gave my husband the speech about how it would DIE if we left it, and what if it had been a BABY (human) and we left it, and it NEEDED a family. He rolled his eyes and said no way and of course he would never leave a baby (human) there but this is completely different and NO WAY....and so here it is in the Barbie Jeep and skittering it's fuzz-ball self right into our hearts. We have given the responsibility of the kitten to Thing 1, our eldest, since she was the one who begged and pleaded and conjured up some good tears to keep it. She is responsible for feeding the kitty, changing it's litter box, and keeping our ridiculously huge and semi-stupid golden retriever from eating it. (Seriously, we love the dog, but he's not the sharpest pencil in the drawer is all I'm sayin'....and he weighs 100 pounds, just huge) We will see how she does-she's not so much with the follow through sometimes so it will be a good test for her. So far she's been pretty good about taking care of it, with a few reminders, and didn't even fuss about the litter box. Better than I would do!
I wonder if it knew a Jeep was included in the deal? This little kitty "found" us in a McDonald's parking lot under the tire of the car parked next to us. We pulled in, my mommy-radar went off and I said, "I hear a kitten!" My kids had no idea what I was talking about and my husband had the "oh no...." face on when I opened the door and there it was, meowing it's fuzzy little heart out at me. It was SO tiny and super-scrawny. I could fit it in our car cup holder! And it weighed like 3 ounces, it was so bitty-we are guessing it to be about 4 weeks oldish. I gave my husband the speech about how it would DIE if we left it, and what if it had been a BABY (human) and we left it, and it NEEDED a family. He rolled his eyes and said no way and of course he would never leave a baby (human) there but this is completely different and NO WAY....and so here it is in the Barbie Jeep and skittering it's fuzz-ball self right into our hearts. We have given the responsibility of the kitten to Thing 1, our eldest, since she was the one who begged and pleaded and conjured up some good tears to keep it. She is responsible for feeding the kitty, changing it's litter box, and keeping our ridiculously huge and semi-stupid golden retriever from eating it. (Seriously, we love the dog, but he's not the sharpest pencil in the drawer is all I'm sayin'....and he weighs 100 pounds, just huge) We will see how she does-she's not so much with the follow through sometimes so it will be a good test for her. So far she's been pretty good about taking care of it, with a few reminders, and didn't even fuss about the litter box. Better than I would do!Anyhoo, sorry it took me forever to get a post written-things here at Chez Thing have been super busy the last 2 weeks-I subbed for Kindergarten for a couple days (phew! there is a special, WONDERFUL and QUIET section of Heaven for Kindergarten teachers!!), I went to the Extraordinary Women Conference, and my hubby was out of town for several days, all of which added up to somewhat chaos and no time or energy for blogging. The conference was fun-got to go with a group of women that I know and enjoy but don't spend a lot of time with usually so that was really nice. It was also fun to be away from mommy duty for a day and a half (even though honestly, I missed my family a lot-I am cheesy) and there was great music and some really good speakers. Also, there was a wonderful group represented there called World Help which works with HIV/AIDS orphans in Sub-Saharan Africa, as well as other countries, to find them food, clothing, shelter, sponsors and just the general things that we so often take for granted. (go check them out-I'll wait...) They had a wonderful Children of the World choir who performed representing the Children of Hope part of their organization and it was awesome-made me literally bawl to hear those beautiful children from all corners of the Earth praising the Lord-so beautiful! And it made me EXCITED to go to Ethiopia and get our baby. There has been several exciting referrals this week and things seem to be moving. We have "unofficially" moved up a few spots so we are in the teens and it is seeming more real with each spot we move up. Hopefully we will have no more excitement other than oochying up the waiting list and keeping up with our newest furbaby for awhile-I'm tired. So incredibly tired-I wonder if I will ever sleep again in the next 18 or so years???? Hmm, adopting another baby makes me think sleep is not in our near future....oh well, sleep is for sissys.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Woot!
We got our new numbers today and I wasn't expecting much change so I was very surprised when we had moved up quite a bit on the waiting list!! So, we are now number 
on the girls list and number 
on the boys list! Woot woot! Oh my goodness, time is flying by! In 3 weeks the courts open back up and things are supposed to pick up a bit in the referral world, too, so it seems pretty encouraging! We will just keep our trust in the Lord and our eyes toward Ethiopia!
on the girls list and number on the boys list! Woot woot! Oh my goodness, time is flying by! In 3 weeks the courts open back up and things are supposed to pick up a bit in the referral world, too, so it seems pretty encouraging! We will just keep our trust in the Lord and our eyes toward Ethiopia!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
And They're Off!
Well, Thing 1 and Thing 2 successfully made it to school (it started Monday) and here's a few pics from the 1st day:
That's the big 3rd grader! We take a picture in front of the sign every year-it is a way of seeing how much they have grown each year. And, as previously mentioned, I'm a sucker for traditions!
Here's our sweet little 1st grader-she loves school!
It was an info sheet about things they like/dislike, etc called "The Back to School Times" and in this section it asked for 5 things they are most proud of. Thing 1 listed: God, my parents (whee! at least until the teenage years-I'll take it while I can!!), my sisters (awwwww-funny, it doesn't always show so much....), my "etiopian" (oh. my. goodness.- yes, I cried), and my classes & teachers. It totally made my week!
(We will not talk about the section where she listed her favorite foods as "gum, cotton candy and KFC gravy"-I was so proud. KFC gravy? what?! I think she's had that 2 times in her almost 9 years. And I did inform her that neither gum nor cotton candy are technically food. Now I feel like I really need to go out of my way to pack wholesome, all healthy, 200% organic, 75 million grain lunches so as not to be deemed a pathetic parent. Sayonara, fruit roll ups...)
That's the big 3rd grader! We take a picture in front of the sign every year-it is a way of seeing how much they have grown each year. And, as previously mentioned, I'm a sucker for traditions!Here's our sweet little 1st grader-she loves school!And here is my favorite assignment Thing 3 brought home this week:
It was an info sheet about things they like/dislike, etc called "The Back to School Times" and in this section it asked for 5 things they are most proud of. Thing 1 listed: God, my parents (whee! at least until the teenage years-I'll take it while I can!!), my sisters (awwwww-funny, it doesn't always show so much....), my "etiopian" (oh. my. goodness.- yes, I cried), and my classes & teachers. It totally made my week!(We will not talk about the section where she listed her favorite foods as "gum, cotton candy and KFC gravy"-I was so proud. KFC gravy? what?! I think she's had that 2 times in her almost 9 years. And I did inform her that neither gum nor cotton candy are technically food. Now I feel like I really need to go out of my way to pack wholesome, all healthy, 200% organic, 75 million grain lunches so as not to be deemed a pathetic parent. Sayonara, fruit roll ups...)
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Oh Boy. School Needs to Start.
"Mommy" giggled Thing 2, "come downstairs and see Thing 1-she looks so funny!"
"What is she wearing?" I asked, naively assuming they were talking about some new and exciting dress-up adventure as usual.
"I am not telling you-I want it to be a surprise!" Thing 2 said, through mischievous laughter, and pranced off downstairs.
I finished putting my laundry away and headed down to see my funny little princess, or maybe a cowgirl, or even a little wee tiny bride.
This is what met me downstairs:
(note the proud big sister looking on)
It has been a long summer.
"What is she wearing?" I asked, naively assuming they were talking about some new and exciting dress-up adventure as usual.
"I am not telling you-I want it to be a surprise!" Thing 2 said, through mischievous laughter, and pranced off downstairs.
I finished putting my laundry away and headed down to see my funny little princess, or maybe a cowgirl, or even a little wee tiny bride.
This is what met me downstairs:
(note the proud big sister looking on)
It has been a long summer.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Go Tirunesh!
Tirunesh Dibaba of Ethiopia won the gold medal for Ethiopia in the 10,000 meter run -yes, TEN THOUSAND-oh. my. goodness. ouch. You go girl!!
That made me tired just to watch it.
I'm going to bed.
PS-the U.S. runner won the bronze after having food poisoning a few days ago-I am officially a horribly out of shape lazy person with no excuse. The Olympics are demoralizing for couch potatoes.
That made me tired just to watch it.
I'm going to bed.
PS-the U.S. runner won the bronze after having food poisoning a few days ago-I am officially a horribly out of shape lazy person with no excuse. The Olympics are demoralizing for couch potatoes.
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